I'm in way over my head [VENT]

[Kazzo]

Come on LMS, you can do this, don't let them just do what they want. You can no longer ignore the situation, the ladies have all given you some great leads to try and help so start fighting. Stand strong and show them that while you have made a big mistake you are going to do whatever it takes to make things right.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Oh hun your still young and you've made mistakes, we've all been there.
DP & I looked at bankruptcy at one stage, it's something i DID NOT want to do without exhausting all other options first so PLEASE look at what the girls are telling you and call my budget or another debt consolidation place, talk it out with them.

It's so hard these days, but try and stay positive and work through it as best you can.

[OceanPrincess]

LMS - get on up out of that hole. You are not going to die and the ground will not swallow you.

Make some calls. Decide who to call first. I would start with My Budget. Here's the number:
1300 300 922

If they say "No, too much, sorry can't help" then call the Salvos. Immediately.

Don't delay. Please hun. Find some strength - for your DD and your bump.

[black_rose]

A friend works at debt assist in Melb not sure if they are in ACT but I know you can file another type of agreement before bankruptcy that as others have said it freezes the debt and they work out payments that you can afford.

[toomanyshoes]

Get off ya bum and make the calls, you have two children to provide for. Bankruptcy is major stuff and should be the last option when there is no other option.

You've made a mistake, we all do at some stage but learn from that mistake and do something about it, this isn't just going to go away.

You've been giving all the numbers you need to call by previous posters so now call them, or it will get worse.

[toomanyshoes]

Double post

[sloane]

i think the PPs have given some fantastic advice, i hope you can find the strength to make some calls

you know what - crap happens. we all make mistakes. it can feel overwhelming & sometimes easier just to ignore it & hope it goes away. but i really think you can do this - you can face up to it, make some calls & get things happening. if you do end up having to declare bankruptcy - life will go on. sure it'll make things a bit tougher but it's not the end of the world. absolutely exhaust those other options first - and please don't feel bad making the calls or asking for help. the people you'll be speaking with hear similar stories every day. they're not going to think badly of you or anything like that.

[Muppity]

Hun, Crawling into a hole isnt going to help.

It is good that you realise that you have behaved irrisponsibly but the next step to that is standing up and facing the music. It is going to hurt but you are an adult and have adult responsibilities.

Because you have not been cooperating with them until now I think that you are going to find it almost impossible to get any allowances from them now. They don't care that you are 20 week pregnant and they don't care that you have a medical condition. They just want their money (which I think on some level you understand). So what you have to do now is work out the best way to get through what is happening.

Firstly, deal with the Sherrif - declaring bankruptcy isn't going to stop the Sherrif coming - it will just be the Sherrif on behalf of someone else in a few weeks so why not let that happen now and start dealing with the consequences now rather than in 10 or 15 weeks time when you really won't want to.

The Sherrif can come and take most things from you except the essentials for day to day living - and what you think are day to day living and what they think is different. They think that a fridge and washing machine are essential so you can keep them, televisions, cars, jewellery, computers and gaming machine aren't and are fair game as far as they are concerned. Having said that, Sherrifs tend not to be unreasonable people, but they have a job to do. So if you cooperate and are helpful and can put forward a reasonable case as to why they shouldn't take something then you are more likely to keep it than if you are screaming like a banshee or threatening (or being) physically threatening [not that I am saying that you would - just trying to illustrate a point].

But, once the Sherrif has been your debt doesn't disappear, it is just cut down by the amount that they can sell your stuff for. But then you have to get on with repaying it.

There are many ways that you can save money in your everyday living so that you can pay off your debt. Even if you declare bankruptcy (which I don't recommend - at least until you have seen a financial counselor) you are still going to be left without heaps of "stuff" that many people feel is almost essential to everyday life so you are going to have to work towards buying all those things again. If you are keen I would be happy to come around one day and go through the ways that you can do it. You are really lucky that you like in one of the cities best set up to assist people when they hit on hard times - there are an amazing number of resources available.

[KitFaerie]

Just a personal opinion: My parents had to declare bankruptcy when I was a kid (it was a LOT of money, failed businesses) and it sucked. Really sucked. It was hard even setting up a phone account, everything cost loads more because you were automatically put onto the highest interest rate. They've bounced back now, but it was tough. Bankruptcy isn't going to make it go away, I still remember the people coming into our house and taking our stuff away. It was scary.

Call the numbers, get some help. What's good for you doesn't always feel good.

[grub17]

good luck hun! no advice but sending you hugs. Just try to focus on the future if you can... if you get on the phone, sort it out with the numbers/people pps have given then the weight off your shoulders will be tremendous.

i was i a world of hurt with credit card debt about your age, fortunately I met my dp and with his very frugal ways, he was able to help me dig myself out. it took a few years to pay off all my debts and if we take loans etc I never have my name on them. But i tell you, once we had a plan in place and i could clearly see a way out, things just started looking up.

definitely go get some free financial advice first. lots of places offer help.

hugs! and hope things start to look a bit clearer for you guys soon. ox

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Just letting you all know im not ignoring you, ive read every response i just need to process it all and work out where to go from here.

DP wants to sit down and chat tonight, we'll write up our budget and see what we can do.

I have never been so terrified in my life.

Thanks everyone.

[Miss.September]

You can do this.

Contact the bank and talk to them about drawing on your superannuation. In certain circumstances, you can claim it in times of financial hardship. It takes some time to get it sorted (for us it took six months) as an independent company from the bank and the super company has to approve it. Our bank was good because they gave us the time to get it sorted and we didn't miss a repayment in that time. Try not to speak to the person who answers the phone, climb higher. We were speaking to supervisors and managers who were in a position to make the decisions. There are a lot of fees that come out of your super doing it this way, but it meant for us we could keep our house.

Be strong. I've noticed that the last few times the banks have called, the people are getting quite aggressive which suggests to me that times are tough and they're calling a lot of people. Last week we missed a car repayment (didn't get to the bank) and I got a call from someone in the bank's head office telling me that he was going to repossess the car - over a $90 missed repayment I just said no worries. Nothing else I could say really. I knew it was pretty extreme from him.

Stop worrying and call them and see if you have any options before you go down the bankruptcy path.

[Miss E]

First of all I want to give you a big . This situation totally sucks. From what you've told us, I think this has gone far beyond the point where you are your DP can solve it. And it is now time critical. Every day, that you don't act is going to hurt more, and that includes today.

Waiting for your DP to get home tonight so you can try and nut out a budget, is just going to be another day lost. If you call My Budget and the Salvo's and start getting the professiona helpl you so desperately need TODAY, you and your DP can sit down tonight and begin making real progress. They will be able to give you a host information that we can't, information that will let you and your DP start taking action and making decisions TONIGHT.

Please call now. Don't let another day of doing nothing make this situation harder for you and your family.

Decide who to call first. I would start with My Budget. Here's the number:
1300 300 922

If they say "No, too much, sorry can't help" then call the Salvos. Immediately.

Don't delay. Please hun. Find some strength - for your DD and your bump.

[e_p]

*hug* I know how scary it can be to be in debt and not be able to repay it. It's an awful feeling. But, you CAN fix it and move forward.

If you receive any payments from
Centre link (not including FTB) eg parenting payment and have been for 6 months you may be able get a letter from them that may help you to withdraw from your superannuation under financial hardship grounds. Centrelin k can also give you details of local financial planning/budgeting services, as well as material aid (food vouchers/parcels, vouchers for clothes, nappies etc)

You have options. Good luck xx

[OceanPrincess]

Hun, I have to agree with Miss E. This sounds like a dire situation - waiting until DP gets home is another day lost.

Call the Salvos or My Budget NOW. Call them and at least find out if they can help. Then when DP gets home you can be armed with info and say "I called My Budget. They can do XYZ. I want us to go see them tomorrow." or "I called the Salvos. Someone is coming to see us tomorrow." or something.

Please don't wait.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I agree with everyone else, even if you don't ask for paperwork or agree to them helping you atleast call and ask IF they cna help you.
No point nutting out a budget and stressing yourself to the max if someone can give you a little more information first.

I know it all seems so hard and you want his help but arm yourself with as much info as you can NOW so THEN you can work out the best way, don't let it go another day hun...

[Feijoa Mum]

I know it seems all very overwhelming at the moment and like its all f&^%en hopeless (I have been there so I really know what you are feeling at the moment) but at the end of the day its only money. And again so much easier to say than do but try not to stress too much.

They cant take blood from a stone babe and for all their threats they cant actually "DO" anything.
I only found this out, after been so scared of debt collectors and believing what they were saying but thats their job. They intimidate you into agreeing to something you cant afford. They dont care about you just getting their money. I bet if you started talking about bankruptcy with them they would change their tunes quick smart and start working with you instead of against you.

There are many many avenues for you too look at and yes bankruptcy is one of them. There is a huge taboo around it still but its something I looked into very closely and had I not just one more option to try first then I would have chosen bankruptcy.
Yes it stays on your credit rating but you have a bad credit rating now, so what are the chances of you getting another loan anyway???

STAY THE HELL AWAY from FOX SYMES though. They are all about the fees and even if your agreement is not accepted you still have to pay their fees. They are not there to help you either. There is one place that offers the same service as Fox does but if they cant help you then you dont have to pay.
It is a sucky place to be but with a few phone calls to the right people and you will have it all sorted im sure.
There is lots and lots of places that are in place to help people like you (and me and many others) out of these seemingly hopeless situations so get googling and hit the phone hun!

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Just on the phone now to my budget. Hopefully i can work out something.